Memphis - Hot House, Tepid Treats

Memphis
6541 Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood, CA 90028



The Event: Nuttin' spesh. Just dinner time with my Man.

Memphis took over the famed Janes House about two or so years ago. The house is the only residential gem left in movie-land, and it's a stunning Victorian. The restaurant crew wisely chose to restore the home, and it's seriously worth a trip just to spy the lush interior. There's a large outdoor patio, a cozy downstairs bar, and little alcoves of dinner rooms on the top level. The walls are smothered in crimson, textured fabric, and the whole place has a time-warp appeal. Classy, elegant, romantic. It's also very reminescent of the Victorians in New Orleans' Garden District. Seems like a fine place to have a fine cajun meal. Mmmm hmmm.

This was my fourth trip to Memphis. None of the meals have excited me, but I live in the area, and felt a strange inclination to give it one more try. I am such a damn glutton. The service, as usual, was courteous but spotty, and at times molasses-slow. All that Memphis really has going for it is the stellar ambiance. The rest is a world of ho-hum.

Drinks:

Two unremarkable martinis. Weak.

Bread:

The highlight! Somewhat yummy cornbread and warm crusty traditional offerings.


Appetizer: FRIED CALAMARI



Fried Calamari with a Spicy Marinara
- Cornbread crusted and well cooked, this had little spice and a very, *very* standard and somewhat runny sauce. Yawn yawn yawn.


Entree 1 (Mine): BBQ SALMON

Photo above

Seared Salmon with BBQ sauce, rice, and asparagus
- Well now, this wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. The salmon was cooked well and defintely tasted premium, but the rice was a world of no and the BBQ sauce as boring as a Rocky sequel. Blah. Too sweet, too flat. Even Tony Romas kicks this sauce's behind.


Entree 2 (Companion's): BBQ RIBS



BBQ Pork Ribs
- Served with bland cole slaw, this was also less impressive than a chain offering. Nothing about Memphis is full-on horrendous, but the price points don't warrant such woefully mediocre food. Neither does this glorious house.

Words to the food-wise - Hit Memphis as a cocktail haven, not an eatery. Soak up the vibes with a Vodka Red Bull and relish how smart you are not to waste moolah and calories on spiceless cajun creations.

Damage for 2 martinis, 1 appetizer, and 2 entrees: about $80.


RESTAURANT REPORT CARD - Memphis, Visit 4

Ambiance - A
Service - D+
Food (Taste) - D+
Food (Presentation) - C-
Wine/Drinks - C-
Value - D+
Vibe/Energy/Scene - B+

Overall Experience - C-

Parking: Valet on Hollywood, but $8 crazy dollars. Comb the streets first for meters.
Attire: Dressy casual
Pros: Unique and stunning ambiance/interior
Cons: Unimpressive food with too-high prices and slow serivce

Final word - I'm done now. Honest.

But wait there's more.
And sometimes it rhymes.